Also I hate being pitied or condescended to so I always want to perform being as unshaken as possible to ensure people don’t pity or condescend to me. Even if I am not so shaken I don’t want to do anyhting that people could misinterpret as being shaken. So I always get like extra emotionally detached
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i feel like what you’re experiencing is a non-atypical reaction for a relationship you say didn’t mean much to you
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To be fair the first breakup was more of a relationship annulment “actually it was a joke to me the whole time (1 year)” which was substantially emotionally different
Yeah I mean the concern is more “no relationships mean much to me while the people around me at the very least perform their relationships being quite meaningful”
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I’m really not that concerned about it because like I’m 20. But it’s always slightly alienating, you know
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At least combined with the fact that as previously mentioned I don’t get as attached to my “loved ones” as others do in general, family included
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doesn’t your school have high loneliness rates according to that one copypasta
Like there’s a lot of. Hm, how do I put this. We ewre hanging out and playing Mario Kart, my friend group, and it was three couples and two single people. The other two couples were like togehter the whole time and their social position Relied On being a couple. Their identity was As the couple, they kind of merged into one item. And that was so so so repulsive to me. I spent most of the time hanging out with one other guy, one of the single people
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When I thought about it earlier I came to the conclusion that they are In College. And this is a very In College way to be. And I mean there’s also plenty of people who do it outside of college and they get married in their 20s after dating for 3 months or whatever. And it’s not that uncommon for people to have values like I do. My parents were married at like 40. So I’m not really that alien to every other human on earth. But I am relatively alien to my friendsin college
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does being different than other people mean all that much
Specifically the concern is incompatibility in a future relationship, because I am still interested in Having A Relationship
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oh right
everything just clicked yeah
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Like I had that concern a lot with this one, where it was like. I knew exactly what I wanted but I didon’t quite know how to communicate that and I didn’t know if that’s what they also wanted (I suspected it wasn’t)
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Cause no matter how much you emphasise “I seem distant from you because that’s my nature and I promise I’m not mad at you and I still want to continue this relationship” 1. some people don’t want to be in a relationship with somebody who’s distant like that and 2. most people on some level won’t believe that and will be at the very least insecure about it
well to be entirely honest, and i don’t exactly say this as a relationship expert, yes: your specific wants isn’t exactly common. it’s going to make finding relationships that work for you and the other person harder, which you know
my very limited in thought advice is to be incredibly open about your specific desires, because if you aren’t you or them are just going to be displeased within it
Same conclusion I came to
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meant to add this before posting to make sure you knew i thought you had rational thought
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I’m very irrational.
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some rational thought
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specialized rational thought
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