nyaaaaaaaaaaaaaa why would you like this tbhtbhtbthtbh
this is why i force myself into an activity that constantly reminds me there are people smarter than me and then set unhealthy goals to become smarter than them
Iām too competitive to like that
Because in middle school and high school the only way people interacted with me was imagining me as some kind of idea of Smart Person and thatās like uncomfortable and suboptimal and when somebody does that to me I begin imagining them as High School Or Middle School Classmate which is fine in strangers and acquaintances and is nice as an ego boost but I donāt like when somebody Iām supposed to be close with feels like theyāre pressing buttons on a touch screen interface rather than like interacting with three dimensional person
Iām competitive but I also love losing
And so me feeling somebody is Smarter Than Me completely rids the potential for that feeling.
fortunately my brother (who is also competitive and smart) is an English enjoyer and not a math one
so thatās why you hate him
NYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA so false!
My brother is. I almost called him non competitive. Heās like. He never admits heās wrong, if you correct him then he always claims he actually knew XYZ already, and itās a bit but like he genuinely thinks like that. But heās not academically competitive in the same way I am I think
oh right I should sleep tbhtbhtbhtbhtbhtb I have an exam tomorrow morning
My sister is basically ground zero for weird feeling of this nature because sheās a very good student and gets straight Aās but sheās like. Different somehow
gn nya nya nya
(to be fair itās an exam in ODE (fake class) (I just need to be awake enough to to algebra))
Your ODE are fake and gay class because itās just intro diffeq. My ODE are I almost called them real and not gay but I did well enough on the last exam that theyāre fake and gay. I fucked up the homework real bad last night though
I donāt know if sheās actually different or if itās just the fact that sheās younger. But she does, like, not have the same⦠like people who meet her donāt think sheās a freak of nature. This may be more unautism than it is intelligence difference
And I donāt think sheās, like, as fixated on academics, like she had zero interest in taking college courses in high school. I donāt think she feels the same like deep satisfaction and happiness doing equations or whatever
so iām not recruiting her to quizbowlā¦
You are definitely not
im so antsy
weāve made such good pace in the last month. 30k will be real