If I manipulated somebody into dating me, via the social power I have over them as somebody significantly older than them or via any other method, I’d be like “what the fuck, this doesn’t count, I did it incorrectly”, and there is very little (to no) material benefit in the world that would be enough to override the fact that I did it incorrectly
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Patch notes: phrasing improved
i was talking about the person before btw. the one who they weren’t in the age range for. i don’t know for sure if they manipulated a 15 year old but given their track record
they probably did
that’s the person they are
Given their track record and how social power dynamics work almost certainly
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The whole reason it’s icky to date people way younger than you is the social aspects and I was focusing on the motivations rather than what they probably did!
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That’s why as soon as beguined posted about that I did a 180
like this was genuinely a whole thing. the week after prom was the sad week for freshmen when the seniors all broke up with them. it was kinda fucked
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I used to care a lot about solving others peoples problems and take it personal, the onus was on me to fix everything. Obviously i (and mostly everyone) are powerless to fix people, at least strangers. At most you can give them temporary comfort, maybe some sane words of advise. Its wrong to think “I can fix him/her/it/them/xem/zem”. U will try, you wont achieve it, you will grow frustrated with yourself, and may grow resentment for the person too for not improving.
Recent example is i had an acquitance with sociopathy disorder, 26 year old. A 20 year old kid, another acquitance, took it personally to fix their problems. The former mentioned having only one friend during a public drama dispute, not being the kid. The kid was angry that he spent time helping that person to not be acknowledged as a friend. He lashed out at the other person. Multiple people lashed out at the person. I warned them that that would happen. Unrealistic expectations. Popular media gives the impression that you can save everyone, most stories are heroic
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Anyway i have homework
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Don’t date 15 year olds
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i mean at this point i think most media (or at least social media) sends the message that “i can fix them” is an incredibly unhealthy mindset that will most likely lead to them making you worse
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I should probably go talk to them about it
Like you guys brought up an excellent point when the person I’m referring to literally compared Y to a dog who can easily be controlled during a game
That may be a byproduct of me spending a lot of time getting the people I’m working with to scheme and put their cards on the table
been through this a lot too
it’s also very mentally draining to try to help people who wont help themselves over a very long period of time
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but you can fix me
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