wait actually thats just Cheesemonger
1 Like
one week we get ābig bucketsā, which causes home runs to occasionally score extra points
later we got fucking HOOPs which do literally the exact same thing but theyāre ballinā
1 Like
And the Boss said āSlam Dunkā thatās a very important detail
1 Like
ive since abandoned cheesmonger becuase itās too fucking stupid to work. est in peace cheesemonger you will be missed
1 Like
Th e cheese monger is fea rmonger but instead of choosing players they choose various cheeses, and instead of executing their target the ye at their target, and instead of playing Blood on hte Clocktower theyāre at a cheese tastingā¦
now i have to use Coachman for Savant but Deranged
imagine (has never used a cheesemonger and only lightly considered it for Matsuraid script)
1 Like
other things in the blaseball expansion era which still crack me up to think about:
- tad seeth, the least important character in blaseball history
- Stables, the most comically pointless stadium modification
- we got tricked into voting for an extremely obnoxious modification because it was advertised by a picture of a rat eating pizza
- honestly the grind rails were still an A+ bit
1 Like
also there were fucking noir detectives who were also wrestlers called Uncle Plasma and Liquid Friend
iām still undecided as to which of those names is funnier. i think itsā just barely Uncle Plasma
the actually coolest thing expansion era ever did was the library and itsā genuine unfolding of narrative dread solely through showing heavily redacted baseball scorecards that tell the story of an apocalypse that is about to happen again
1 Like
to be clear, this was both deliberate and genuinely worked narratively. blaseball was so fucking weird
there were so many good completely pointless and annoying mechanics in the EE
iām a big fan of the one modification that makes it so that whenever you hit a foul ball the count of balls and strikes is randomised
1 Like
Everybody liked the one where whenever you hit a foul ball the number of birds in your stadium increased by 1, but did they name every single one of their stadium birds. I donāt think so
Sandpiper Harmonica
The Hollow Knight Night Hawk
Rumianek Loon
Oriole Maria Kiwi
Spoonbill Lori Lorikeet
Delaware Penguin
Sandpiper Garbanza
Macaw Teeth
Rosie Oā Night Hawk
Wyvern Skylark
Boylston Screecher Swift
Nightingale Velvet
cheesemonger is cannibal but sourced ethically
i also think the three seasons where the bit was that every single decree election was just āwhich of these incredibly annoying sun-themed modifications would you likeā were, in retrospect, so fucking funny
1 Like
no meaningful decisions allowed, fuck you.
and then we got The Calculator, my beloved/beloathed
1 Like
Bald Eagle Ephemera
Sandpiper Chirp Jones
Sus Bulbul
Sniper Parrot
Macaw Northampton
Wagtail Hornet
Dannyainge Sparrow
Bluebird Quill
Wren Eartha
Iris Tern
Buzzy Bulbul
Hummingbird 2
Phlox Night Hawk
Kitty Starling
Halifax Frigatebird
Olivaceous Thornbill Jay
Pukeko Terra
Edie Robin
Hive Queen Vespa Partridge
Leonard Mockingbird
SĆ³jka Finch
Val Avocet
Cyan Stained Glass Pane Cockatoo
Sandpiper Mourning Dave
Samus Pukeko
The Inevitable Kindness Frigatebird
Stapler Dove
Yggdrasil Raven
George-er Cardinal
keeper_skates Swan
June Swift
Cheep Cheep Ostrich
Bullfinch The Inevitable
Swallow Pleiades
Hildegard Nightingale
Vespertine Bulbul
Princess Tutu Junco
Toucan Roxas
Judgment Peahen
King Starling
Welwick Crow
Heron Fortunato
Clyde Cormorant
Halcyone Pelican
Condor Finch
Ventus Dove
Bullfinch Wyatt
Oxalis Frigatebird
Rooster Cosmos
Jay Colette
Condor Hoopoe
Bulbul Grocery
Cool Breeze On A Warm Day Kingfisher
Thwomp Night Hawk
Goldfinch Knick Knack
Mario Goose
Robertparish Pigeon
Lapwing Gala
Kairi Pheasant
Hummingbird Matheo
Rogue Rooster
Turkey Chain Chomp
Koyal Aqua
Cormorant Violet-Tailed Sylph
Pigeon Eggscelent
Falcon Isperia
Truskawka Sandpiper
Bitcoin Woodpecker
Birdfriend Hoopoe
College Ruled 120 Page Notebook Sparrow
Ganymede Lapwing
Longsword Cormorant
Duck Shining Sunbeam
Crossbill Prophecy
Antikythera Bulbul
Raven Crumpet
Perihelion Rooster
Toucan Vesper
Condor Rasputin
Chickadee McSneaky
Frigatebird Tabletop
Lamb Chop Condor
Metacomet Kite
Melia Jay
Rapier Chickadee
Cormorant Buckets
Valor Crossbill
Bug Goose
Hyena with Gun Seagull
Radiance Budgie
Diction Night Hawk
Flicker Candace
Bulbasaur Loon
Vulture Pinehurst
Terpsichore Crossbill
Ametrine Pukeko
Apothecary Goldfinch
Parakeet Parilil
Grossbeak Xerxes
Thatās So Eagle
however this did lead to Sun .1 becoming a weather so itās impossible to tell if this was bad or not