GO GO BENCH EXTENDER
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i mean go go gadget fuck
Did you really
Bench extender would be a nice hero for homeless people
Thanks for the fun couple weeks. Yāall were enjoyable chatters, and hope everyone is happy in the future.
cya
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See you
Skimming over this conversation, my main comment is that resentment is overrated. I didnāt talk to my sister or my dad for over three years and I used my rationale of indirectly blaming them for my back pain and claiming the moral high ground over them as a mechanism to help me endure life.
The only reason I forgave them and everyone else was that I eventually became a bit crazy and started to view all hardship, mental and physical, no matter how brutal, as a blessing instead.
Unsure who you resent or why, but my two cents are that people rarely mean to hurt you willfully even if it may seem that way at first glance.
Mental health wise it has really helped me to forgive and start talking with everyone I had once ghosted, including users on this site, and it means the world to me now to have a great relationship with my dad and have him be proud of my progress in life.
Sometimes I need to be intense with my workers at my job and yell and be demanding with them when we are drowning in orders, but this is really just a surface level interaction.
I give compassion to everyone else now whenever possible. The pain and anxiety is mine and you canāt have it.
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Except a child drowning in a pond if youāre gonna be late for work
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Well yeah i donāt consider that as āpossibleā as my life is centered around my job and depression would kill me without it so iām not going to put it at risk for a drowning stranger even a child. However in this situation i would call my boss and predict she would permit it without penalty. Sheās not unreasonable
That said i probably should just save the kid. Iāve been late before for other much more trivial reasons such as being delayed at the red cross or my uber being rerouted without penalty given how much Iām valued there. I have a high level of confidence that there would be no penalty for an incident of this magnitude.
i think theres a healthy amount of resentment to hold. there are sometimes people you cant forgive and maybe its reasonable and maybe itās not but as long as you like, accept that and move forward theres progress
i think its important to express the middle ground for stuff like this. putting the bar that high can lead to more problems.
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Understandable. Iām a person of extremes so I donāt really vibe with the middle ground but I know most do
oh also sometimes you cant accept things but acknowledging that is still a path forward. There is always a path forward
fair enough
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āResentment is healthy.ā
Oh I wish that was a true statement. If I could have justified hating people, Iād have a long list. I envy those who can hate me, because I wish I was able to feel that satisfaction from hating someone who hurt you.
The worst thing about life is that the best thing to do rarely ever makes you feel good.
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One of the biggest truths in life is that harmful situations can be blamed on both parties.
Itās why I view resentment is always something that is unhealthy for humans to hold. It blinds you from the faults of yourself, and the mind holds those feelings of resentment in place of accepting blame. Humans need to grow and learn, so being accepting of resentment leads people to hinder their personal growth.
I used to be a guy named Benji, I know a decent bit about resentment and growth.
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Yeah i definitely feel way better now. Justifying my resentment of my sister and dad as necessary to help me endure the cruelties of my life didnāt really cause me to feel better. It helped me to keep pushing forward for a while, sure, but instead of being a true boost to my intensity and willpower like I expected, it was more like a slow-acting poison that, in time, made me hate myself much more than I hated them. I was always to blame for my own mistakes. Thatās cool though
I get angry at people fairly often, more often than Iād like, but I donāt really hold onto it. It just exists intensely for a brief window and then disappears as quickly as it beset upon me. Itās certainly left me open to always being that one guy in a group project, but I find satisfaction in being able to justā¦move on from situations.
Resentment is good if you need to burn a bridge, and perhaps one day, Iāll find myself in a situation where I learn the power of arson. But Iāve grown up around people who were mean because they were yet to grow up, so Iāve always held out hope that perhaps itās a bridge that just needs to be closed for a while.
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I held onto resentment for about 4 years. Remnants of that resentment exist inside of me today, but I have to acknowledge it for me to continue getting over it.
During those 4 years I mostly told people that I didnāt have any resentment, and that I was happy/accepting of what happened. Depression, self hatred, and shitty stuff just happened.
The thing was that I was holding onto that resentment, but I just lied to myself. Humans have to resolve resentment, and holding onto it will cause you to hate yourself. I used to say that I hated myself more than anyone else ever could. Its funny, I came to this conclusion like last month. My happiness is real now, and even though I still have moments of sadness connected to past events, I love myself and I get to be happy.
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I was speaking in a rude tone to the person earlier, and I shouldnāt have.
They reminded me of myself, and I wanted to yell at them because it felt like I was screaming at myself not to make the same mistake.