Fortress Plays Imps - 10000, Gnomes - 100, Dragons - 0 (Game Over (for now))

/go to final battle @Osieorb18

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/answer 11000 gnomes @Osieorb18

more is better since it’s more insulting to gnomes

4 Likes

/kick him in the nuts

@osieirb18

51H

When you answer. “One hundred,” the dragon laughs and say, “That’s the answer that all these warriors here gave. Now, have their fate!”

And before you realize what he’s doing, you find yourself drained of all life and turned into an undead skeletal warrior. Like the other warriors, you’ll be at the dragon’s beck and call forever.

Restart?

/restart

@Osieorb18

2 Likes

Game Restart 6

8

You eye the gnomeflinger suspiciously. It doesn’t look like anything you want to have any part of, but… You glance again at the cliff with all its strangely shaped entryways. You can feel your curiosity overcoming your caution.

There is a small knock on the leg of your armor. You look down to see a gnome, calling himself Tromsh, standing impatiently at your side.

“Well?..” he says, his voice oozing doubt as to your ability to handle the gnomes’ problems, and whether you even have the courage to be flung through the air to somewhere up on the cliff.

Yes! The gnomes of Mount Nevermind need help, and never mind the fact that you’ve never done anything but work in a bakery. Never mind the fact that even the smallest draconian soldier must outweigh you by a hundred pounds. Never mind that you know nothing about military matters. The gnomes are looking to you for help and, by Reorx, you’re going to try!

8A

Hoping to see something that will help you make up your mind, you climb onto the earthen platform bearing the gnomes’ steam-powered lift system, the gnomeflinger. A gnarled, muscular, leather-apron-clad gnome introduces himself as Gnowmpsh-the-Flinger-Boss.

He thrusts you toward a reclining seat, saying, “Firsttrip,hmm? Nothing,nothingatalltoworryabout. ThisisthefastestandmostreliablytestedgnomedeviceanywhereinMountNevermind. ItwasbuiltbymygreatgreatgreatgranduncleBrahmpsh,andmyfamily’sLifeQuesthasbeento makeitbetterandbetterallthetime.”

You stir restlessly under his barrage of words. Every time one of the gnomes talks to you, you hope you’ll be able to understand him, but it doesn’t seem to happen. By your side, Gnowmpsh (at least you understand that much) still talks while he pushes you into the gnomeflinger seat. You’re about to resign yourself to whatever the gnomes have in store, when you shout, “STOP!”

Gnowmpsh and the other gnomes, who have been twisting dials, checking steam valves, and shoveling coal, stop what they’re doing and stare at you, open-mouthed, incredulity on their faces.

“I’m sorry!” you say, surprised at the anguish in your voice. “But if I’m going to go through Mount Nevermind and find the things I think will help you–and me–beat the dragonarmy, I have got to understand what you’re saying! Please… talk… slowly… whenever… you… say… anything… to… me.”

The gnomes’ looks change to ones of pity and dismay. The coal shoveler clucks under his breath and you think you catch the murmured words: “Poorfellow. He’llbenohelpatall. Doesn’thavethebrainsforit, butIguesswecan’tsend himawaynow. Itwouldn’tbekindtolethimknowwerealize howweak-mindedheis.”

Gnowmpsh gently pats your hand, saying loudly, as if you were deaf, “I WILL DO THAT, YOUNG MAN. AND I WILL REMIND EVERYONE ELSE TO TALK SLOWLY, TOO!” He makes a gesture toward a less-muscular gnome working on the gnomeflinger. He’s also younger, you see, as he turns toward you and raises an eyebrow questioningly.

“Getonwithit,Knekst,” the flinger boss orders.

You watch as young Knekst gathers a number of brightly colored flags and begins making broad gestures in the air with them. Suddenly, a loud whistle sounds and you see gnomish heads popping from the many openings in the rock wall in front of you. They all watch Knekst’s signals, which quickly become faster-than-the- eye-can-see flips and twirls. You’re afraid that Knekst will twist himself into a pretzel if he keeps this up for long.

Finally, once more turning his head and giving you a look of pity combined with impatience, he sloooowwwws dowwwwwnnnnn thhhhhhe mmmmmmooootionnn ooofffff thhhhhe flaaaaaagsssss alllllmmmmmooooossst tooooo aaaaa stoooooopppp. The gnomes on the cliff all look at you, shrug their shoulders, and duck back into the cliff openings.

“THE FARTALKING FAMILY IS USING A NEW SYSTEM To SEND MESSAGES. EVERYONE KNOWS NOW TO SPEAK SLOWLY,” announces Gnowmpsh.

“Thank you,” you answer in a tiny voice.

8B

You sit in the gnomeflinger, not liking anything you see, as the gnomes around you explain what you are indeed seeing.

“Before you are five levels of cliffs. There are also two chambers that you can easily walk to without being flung.”

You seriously consider getting out or the gnomeflinger and going toward one of the areas within walking distance, but you politely wait until the gnomes are done explaining, and you get a fairly good idea of what every entrance on the cliff face means to the gnomes.

Gnomeflinger Success Chart

Days left-> 20 19-17 16-14 13-12 11-8 7-5 4-2 1
Fifth (Top) Level 5+ 6+ 7+ 8+ 9+ 10+ 11+ 12
Fourth Level 4+ 5+ 6+ 7+ 8+ 9+ 10+ 12
Third Level 3+ 4+ 5+ 6+ 7+ 8+ 9+ 11+
Second Level 2+ 3+ 4+ 5+ 6+ 7+ 8+ 11+
Lowest Level 1+ 2+ 3+ 4+ 5+ 6+ 7+ 8+

Rooms (and Misses)

Level A B C D E
Fifth The Nest (4B) The Cold (4C) The Bottle (4D) The Plant (4A)
Fourth The Magnet (3B) The Bakery (3C) The Catapult (3D) The Dark (3E) The Gallery (3A)
Third The Maze (2B) The Spark (2C) The Undead (2D) The Armory (2A) The Explosives (2A)
Second The Crystals (1B) The Military (1C) The Toys (1D) The Signals (1A)
First The Water The Clocks The Steam The Heat The Train
Walkable The Lights The Library

9A

The closer you get to the time of the dragonarmy’s invasion, the harder it is for the gnomes to concentrate on their flinging. The chart above judges your success rate for each fling depending on how many days are left before the invasion.

Each time you wish to be flung to a chamber, the host will roll a d12, then send you to the appropriate result based on the Gnomeflinger Success Chart. If you get the number you need or higher, you succeed. If you get less than the number you need, you miss your target and go to the miss location on the Rooms Chart. You may acquire extra locations while on your quest, also.

For example, if you try for A on the Top level and miss, you would reach B on the Fourth level. If you really didn’t want to go to B, you could use up half a day to return to the gnomeflinger, but remember, you don’t have a lot of time.

If you aim for the lowest level and miss, you are flung on an odd number to the library, and on an even number to the lights chamber (both within walking distance of the gnomeflinger).

Days on the chart are measured only in whole days, rounding up.

9B

The information you receive about these caverns is sketchy at best. You are only able to get hints about the places, because the gnomes tend to be very clannish even in the mountain and don’t get around much. Looking over the possible areas, you select one, tell the gnomes, and then close your eyes and hope for the best. Suddenly, you feel yourself being flunnnnnnnnnnnnnnnggggggggggggg!

2022-01-31T00:15:00Z Decision Deadline.

Mt Nevermind Worksheet

Worksheet Bookmark:

20 days remain.

Chamber # Short Description
# Blah

Other Notes:

Back to Top

@Whysper @GGhana @YouButWorse @Geyde @Apprentice @Ruby @Joker @Amelia @Squirrel2412 @WindwardAway @Ranta @Blizer @Arete @ElizaThePsycho

/go to final battle @Osieorb18

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/go to the explosives @Osieorb18

1 Like

Die Roll: 6


The Explosives

86

WHOOSH! CRASH!

“RUN! RUN! RUN!” someone shouts, and a terrified gnome goes dashing past you out of the way. Lights flare, rockets crash.

ZIP! ZOOM!

You don’t even know where you are before you find yourself in trouble! You have a choice: Do you run, run, run or not, not, not?

2022-01-31T02:30:00Z Decision Deadline.

Back to Top

/not, not, not @Osieorb18

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136E

You edge into the room, automatically ducking every time you hear a whoosh or boom!

Crouching in a corner, you glance out from under your armpit to see an imp swinging from a large machine in the center of the room. Each time the creature swings, a colorful rocket whooshes out, exploding into light, a booming noise, and color near the ceiling. If you ever hope to investigate this room, you’re going to have to deal with the imp.

You know you can fight it, or, if you’ve got something special to say, try to talk to it. On second thought, it seems to be so involved in its merrymaking that maybe you can just ignore it and look around.

2022-01-31T00:45:00Z Decision Deadline.

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/talk to it

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97E

As you lean toward it, the imp starts to reach for your nose with its little clawed fingers, but you quickly say, “Wait! I have news for you.” Its fingers pause in midair and a quizzical look comes over its face.

“The gate to your plane is open. You can leave now.” To find out if the imp believes you, roll the die.

Die Result: 1

22F

The imp gets an excited look on its little brown face. As it turns and flutter/scurries away, you think you hear it saying, “Oh goodiegoodiegoodie goodiegoodie! Ididn’tlikeithereanyway!” Clearly it’s lived with the gnomes too long.

Return to the Explosives chamber.

The Explosives

86

If you are free to explore the chamber, you may investigate the:

  • old gnome in rocker
  • big machine in center
  • small boxes at right
  • big rockets at right
  • small rockets at left
  • hole in floor
  • door at back

2022-01-31T04:00:00Z Decision Deadline.

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/big machine in center @Osieorb18

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bluff 100

3 Likes

When will this game end

When will we be free from this hell

2 Likes

133B

The imp seemed to know what to do with this thing, but you sure don’t. Turn to the Gnomish Machinery Figure-Out Chart. You’re aiming for D.

Die Result: 5 → A

Would you like to continue?

2022-01-31T04:00:00Z Decision Deadline.

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Is this game nothing but eternal torment

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/continue @osieorb18

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