Fortress Plays Imps - 10000, Gnomes - 100, Dragons - 0 (Game Over (for now))

Gnomes - 100, Dragons - 0

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You are Rye, a recently promoted baker living on Sancrist. You were a baker’s apprentice for three long years, but yesterday the Baker’s Guild declared that you had attained full bakerhood. You think it was your breadrolls that did it, but you can’t be sure.

You spent the entire day yesterday looking for a job in the town and found nothing! Every bakery was willing to settle for an apprentice baker to avoid paying the guild rates demanded for a full-fledged baker. While drinking at a local inn, trying to sop up your disappointment, you heard what sounded like the chance of a lifetime.

A gnome at a nearby table was talking. He said, “…injustafewmonths thingswillreallybecookingaroundMountNevermind.”

You caught the word “cooking” and then managed to interpret the rest of the rapid gnomish speech. Being an enterprising young man, and having heard all you needed to hear, you went over to them, bought drinks all around, and started asking questions.

The gnomes said–once you managed to slow them down–that Mount Nevermind had a huge cavern filled with baking equipment, and hundreds of gnomes had a Life Quest to develop the art of baking. The gnomes, glancing at each other, also added that they were certain the baking gnomes would be happy to share their secrets with the human who would lead all the gnomes. Excitement rising in you at the thought of secrets that might make you one of the greatest bakers on Krynn, you pursued the conversation.

You asked the gnomes when they were going back to Mount Nevermind, and they said they had to hurry because of the huge get-together coming in just a few months. The thought of leading the gnomes in baking for a huge party made your eyes gleam with anticipation.

“Where can I sign up?” you asked, and an important-looking gnome gave you a huge contract written in gnomish which you quickly signed on the dotted line.

That is how you became the general of all the gnomish armies! For what was cooking at Mount Nevermind was preparation for war!

The rest of Krynn had been embattled for many months in the struggle to prevent the Queen of Darkness and her evil dragons and draconians from taking over the land. Word had reached the gnomes in their volcanic fastness on the Isle of Sancrist that a dragonarmy was coming–with evil dragons and hordes of the horrid dragonlike reptiles called draconians–coming to destroy the gnomes’ homeland.

The gnomes, of course, are inventors, not fighters. They consulted their histories and discovered that whenever the dragons had come to Mount Nevermind before, a human had led the gnomes to victory. So they sent their best gnomish recruiters to hire a human, any human. And you’re it!

Even if there were some way to get away from Sancrist, it’s really too late. Besides, the gnomes need your help. There are only twenty days left before the enemy is supposed to arrive, twenty days to explore the entire weird mountain the gnomes have inhabited for thousands of years, to see what you can find that will be useful in the fight. Your thin body shivers at the thought.

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How to Play

You enter a world where gnomes have been working for centuries to build “perfect” machines. Your knowledge of machines is limited to what you have learned using pots, pans, and ovens. Your purpose is to locate within Mount Nevermind all the machines and other items that might be useful in the battle against the dragons and draconians.

As you enter each new chamber, study the picture and read the introductory material. From the illustration, you must decide whether to talk to or fight any creatures you see, or examine other objects that catch your eye.

If the object or creature you wish to examine isn’t listed in the choices given in the text, it is of no use to you on your quest. The choices you make from the illustrations direct you to other sections of the book.

The host will keep track of the picture page you are at, with the GNOMISH MOUNT NEVERMIND WORKSHEET BOOKMARK from the back cover, and will mark down all the items you acquire for the final battle.

Gnomish Mount Nevermind Worksheet

The sections to which you are sent explain what happens as results of your choices. There is danger at every turn, but there are also vital clues along the way that will help you complete your quest. With lots of luck, and even more common sense, you will be able to help the gnomes overcome the dragonarmies.

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Time in the Mountain

You have twenty Days (in-game) in which to gather everything you can find that might be useful in stopping the invading dragonarmy. Usually, if you go into a chamber you will spend 24 Hours (in-game) there. This takes into account inspecting various machines, talking with the gnomes and creatures around you, and eating and sleeping.

There will be times during your quest when you accidentally–or on purpose–return to a certain area. If this happens, you use only half a day, 12 hours. Keep track of this time. If you return to a chamber to get something you left there or get information from things you didn’t look at before, it takes only half a day. If you arrive there and quickly leave again, you use no time at all.

Special conditions exist to give you more or less time in the game. The text will always say how much time to add or subtract (in increments of 24 hours). The host will keep track of the passage of time. When you are ready for the final battle, or when your twenty days have run out, the final battle will begin.

Moving Around in Mount Nevermind:

The main method you will use to travel to the many different chambers in Mount Nevermind is perhaps the prize gnomish invention, the gnomeflinger. Mounted in the center of the main hall (central shaft of the volcano), it allows the gnomes (or you) to be catapulted to places on the cliffs above. Of course, it doesn’t always work properly, but that’s what nets are for. You will learn more about the gnomeflinger when you start the adventure.

When you finish exploring a chamber, you can return to the gnomeflinger by using one of the great natural wonders of Mount Nevermind. The whole ancient mountain is honeycombed with thousands of smooth volcanic vents, which all open out onto the main hall at the center of the mountain. Young gnomes, who haven’t yet begun their Life Quests, spend hours every day sliding down the vents and then being flung to the cliffs above. You can enjoy the benefits of these vents also. When you are through with a particular chamber, always assume that you will easily find a vent that will slide you back to the gnomeflinger.

Even in the lower areas of the mountain, there are vents where the drafts blow so strong that gnomes (and you) slide up to the main hall.

There are, however, other ways to move around Mount Nevermind. Most chambers have one or more exits leading to other chambers by passageways. And there must be other ways, because the gnomish assistants assigned to you always seem to keep up with you, but you can’t figure out how…

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At various points in your quest, you’ll encounter enemies. In order to retrieve items for the final battle, you’ll sometimes have to fight the enemies, or convince them in some other way to give you things.

The combat system is a simple give-and-take process. You try to strike your enemy. If you succeed (determined by a roll of a 12-sided die), you subtract life points from your enemy according to the weapon you used to do damage. For example, if you strike with your unarmored fist, you subtract 1 life point from the creature’s total. If you strike with armor, you do 5 (potentially more on later turns) points of damage, subtracting that number from the creature’s life points.

After you have attempted to strike the creature, it gets a chance to strike at you. If it hits, you subtract points from your total. Combat continues until you lose or your enemy loses. If you lose, the host will provide the losing section of text. If your enemy loses, you continue with your quest, and the host will provide the winning section of text.

A Combat Turn consists of two parts: you attempting to strike, then the surviving creature attempting to strike. During combat, the host will generate random numbers by rolling a 12-sided die. Any deviations from the normal pattern of combat will be noted in the text.

More Bad News…

You decide–because you have no real alternative–to try to help the little people. Your first question is: If you’re the general of an army, where are the troops? The gnomes trot out sixty-eight gnomes all dressed in the oddest assortment of armor and using the strangest weapons you ever saw!

Your new army is deadly, all right. But the only way it will kill dragons is if the dragons laugh themselves to death.

When you ask if this is all the army there is, the head military gnome gets defensive (the most military thing he has done in decades). Speaking slowly, as if he thinks you are stupid, he says that there are hundreds of thousands of Life Quest projects being worked on in the mountain, and even an invasion of dragons, draconians, and human warriors couldn’t stop this activity. Life Quests, after all, are what being a gnome is all about!

When the gnomes realize that you really are concerned about how to fight this battle, they tell you that the entire mountain is filled with powerful devices of war. Each ready and able to defeat the dragons.

“Now they’re talking!” you think. But when you ask where these items are, none of the military gnomes knows. They each have made a Life Quest of military fighting, but not of fighting with military weapons. A twinge of worry begins to nag at you.

Your task, then, is clear. All you have to do is find as many of these military items as you can in the twenty days provided.

Then you think to ask, “Are gnomes the only living things in Mount Nevermind?”

They look at each other, consternation on their faces. Then they all talk at once: there’s cousin Gnisield’s pet raccoon, the horsegnomeship Life Questors whose mounts have been put to pasture, the hybrids the biologists developed, and…

Well, it seems that some parts of the mountain have a few monsters that have moved in. They might not like being disturbed.

Now you really begin to worry.

“No problem!” say the gnomes, and they trundle out the biggest, shiniest, most powerful suit of armor you’ve ever seen.

The gnomes have carefully prepared a suit of steam-powered armor for your use. They help you into it and show you how to use it. You are amazed at the power it gives you. The armor multiplies even your puny strength and protects you at the same time! Suited up, you walk into the mountain ready for anything.

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Your Faithful Gnomish Assistants

You have sixty-eight faithful gnomes to help you and obey your every command. You don’t know how they do it, but every time you enter a chamber, no matter how you get there, those sixty-eight gnomes–at least you assume they are the same ones–are right behind you. They won’t help in combat because you are the leader, but they are the ones that carefully carry any items you find back to the holding area for the great battle.

The holding area is a large plain outside the entrance of the mountain where the dragons must come if they are going to invade. So whatever you find will be taken to where you need it, or so the gnomes tell you when you ask them.

Gnomes speak very fast. When word of your coming reached Mount Nevermind, all the gnomes were told to speak more slowly for your honor and benefit. Sometimes they forget and their words run together. But you have discovered that trying to slow them down only gets them more excited. So to save some time, you try to decipher what they are saying “whenalltheirwordsareruntogether.”

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The Gnomish Machinery Figure-Out Chart

You haven’t the slightest idea how the gnomes make and use all the things they have. You aren’t a technical person, but you are a very bright young man. Whenever the text tells you to try to figure out an item, the host will use the Gnomish Machinery Figure-Out Chart and you will soon understand how the gnomes build what they build.

Gnomish Machinery Figure-Out Chart

Instructions for the Gnome Machinery Figure-Out Chart

A, B, C, D are a success.
E, F, G, H are randomly Beneficient. (Host will let you know what happens.) You may then continue on the chart or not.
I, J, K, L are randomly Malefic. (Host will let you know what happens.) You may then continue on the chart or not.

The Bookmarks

These three bookmarks are helpful throughout the game. The first one has already been shown; the Gnomish Mount Nevermind Worksheet. This will look like the following in the thread:

Mt Nevermind Worksheet (Thread)

Worksheet Bookmark:

20 days remain.

Chamber # Short Description
# Blah

Other Notes:

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The Rye Character Bookmark

Rye Character Bookmark

This will look like the following in the thread:

Rye Character Bookmark (Thread)

Rye, the Baker

10/10 HP

0/30 possible other HP

40/40 Armor HP

Unarmored Strike: 1 dmg on 3 or less
Armored Strike: 5, then 7, then 10 dmg on 8 or less

Personal Weapons Dmg #
Blah #

Other Objects Carried:

At any point, you may request that the host display to you either the Mt Nevermind Worksheet or the Character Bookmark. The host will do so on a regular basis (Read: probably once every 24-48 hours IRL) irrespective of requests, but should you need to look at them sooner, just tag the host (@osieorb18).

The Draconian Bookmark

Draconian Bookmark

The Queen of Darkness’s forces aren’t so dumb. They have sent some of the evil draconians ahead to infiltrate Mount Nevermind and see what they can learn or use in defeating those numerous gnomish nuisances. The host will use this bookmark to randomly determine where in the mountain you come across one of these draconians, and what will happen to you then.

The host has linked the draconian bookmark to a random page unknown to you.

Based on the d12 number at the bottom of the left-hand page, the host will match that number with the type of draconian and its section number. You must deal with the draconian before going any further on your quest. The host will note what section you were heading to when you were interrupted by the draconian.

After you encounter the first draconian, the host will place the bookmark randomly elsewhere in the book, and proceed as before. If, by chance, you get the same number (and draconian), the host will reroll.

This is how the Draconian Bookmark will look in the thread.

Draconian Bookmark (Thread)

The Draconian Scout

10/10 HP

Weapon: 7 dmg on 9 or less

D12 Roll Name Page
1 Trapped 114D
2 Sleeping 106G
3 Battling 35F
4 Fleeing 125I
5 Amused 59I
6 Ambushing 52G
7 Surprised 39H
8 Hungry 63H
9 Diligent 116G
10 Watchful 16I
11 Powerful 58D
12 Successful 79H

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Even More Bad News…

You are about to explore Mount Nevermind for a noble purpose. You have a willing crew of sixty-eight gnomish warriors ready to do anything you ask… except be warriors. You’ve got great steam-powered armor that increases your strength and your ability to hit enemies. You are ready.

But as the gnomes lead you toward the main hall, you see a tiny green humanoid creature disappearing into the darkness.

“What’s that?” you shout.

“Oh,” says a gnome, obviously embarrassed. “That’s just an imp. We don’t know how they got into our mountain, but they seem to be multiplying like flies and are everywhere. They’re usually just mischievous, but… they could be a problem.”

“Great. It’s bad enough that I have to fight a dragonarmy in twenty days. Now I have to worry about imps, too. Well, we will take care of them as they come along. Is there anything else I should know about?”

“Well,” the oldest says. “There are numerous tunnels, especially in the lower areas, that gnomes don’t use any- more. These have sometimes become the homes of possibly dangerous monsters.”

“Monsters!” you shout. All the gnomes around you look very sad and respectful. You’ll never hear the whole story if you don’t let them finish. “I’m sorry, go ahead.”

“Well, it seems there are some monsters in some of the abandoned areas. A gnome can easily spot the entrances to such places and avoid them. You see, usually the monsters just roam around in their own areas and eat each other. It is only sometimes that they come out and eat gnomes, but we do have a committee looking into the problem. So, there are dangerous monsters and there are imps to deal with, but that’s all.” He stands as tall as he can, gives you a kind of salute, and says, “We gnomes know you won’t have any trouble with these minor problems. Shall we get started?”

They take you by the hand and lead you toward the gnomeflinger. You may shortly begin your quest.

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Hi everyone, and

Welcome to Gnomes - 100, Dragons - 0.

This is a solo/cooperative Roleplaying Game.

The character will be controlled by your input. People may join in to control the character at any time. However, the group of people that sign up now will have priority when it comes to decision-making.

The game will start in Democracy mode. Players will vote on decisions that the character will make.

The game may shift into Anarchy mode should the players prefer. In Anarchy mode, each decision submission will cause an action to occur, in order.

Players may discuss decisions in the game thread throughout the game at any time. To make a decision, players must tag the host.

The host will present options and information as they receive it from the book.

The game will start 2022-01-20T18:00:00Z or whenever the host next checks in after a lucky 11 or more initial players have signed up, whichever happens first. Players may hand off their lucky pre-game slots at the discretion of the host.

In addition to signing up, let me know if you’d like me to roll physical dice or use


  1. This is a game, which we’re playing for fun. If you’re toxic to one another, I reserve the right to tattle. Follow the Global Rules and rules 1-2, 4-6, 8-9, 14-15, and 17 of the Forum Game Rules.
  2. That’s pretty much it for now. I’ll add more rules if/when we need them.

What to expect:

I’ll be checking in throughout my day to progress the game along. In Democracy mode, players will have 12 hours to come to a decision. This number will likely be shortened should it seem unnecessarily large. The pre-game signups break ties. In Anarchy mode, I’ll be checking in at least roughly every 12 hours, if not much more often, and handling any action submissions that I have yet to handle.

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Pre-Game Signups (/in):

  1. Whysper
  2. GGhana
  3. YouButWorse
  4. Geyde
  5. Apprentice
  6. Ruby
  7. Joker
  8. Amelia
  9. Squirrel2412
  10. WindwardAway
  11. Ranta
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No preference really. But I support rolling physical dice just for the fun of it and to give you an excuse to roll them. :slight_smile: I suppose nowadays people don’t get to use their dice often and do most stuff online.


im not going to play this the OP is too long but roll physical dice and take a picture of the result but make sure the picture is super blurry


Added a table of contents for your reading pleasure.


Makes it readable but also reading feels like homework.

(I’ll take a look tomorrow :relaxed:)



I’ve read the op and I have to say that dnd has brainrotted a generation of nerds huh


eberron is my favourite

can we punt a shitgoblin into the sun

actually this is white wolf type brainrot

dnd brain rot is forcing your children to play ADnD in your basement for food

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apparently they’re called gnomes

@osieorb18 what’s our protagonist’s name

Still better than a party of humans

I’ll in as well, seems like something I can just check in on every now and the and see how its going
plus the anarchy mode sounds like it would be really funny



Rye, apparently

that name sucks

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his name will be gluten

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How about something otherworldly like Bagel